It Boils Down to Me

My, My, My, has it been quite a while.
A little over a year has gone by and my how things have changed.
I have gone from a little girl in a small town to a little bit bigger girl in an even smaller town...
If that makes any sense.
I have finished my first year of college and am almost halfway through my second year.
I have seen many, many failures.
I have tested my own sanity too many times to count.
Papers have eaten away at my sleep patterns because my little friend procrastination was always knocking on my door.
I have wondered whether all this stress was worth it.
Is everything I am putting myself through worth it on the end?
Am I doing this for myself? Or am I just doing this to please my parents?
I have tested my parents patients and for the first time in my life went 3 days without so much as a word to either of them.

Its a scary thing to realize that all of this is a part of growing up. I am starting to push the limits and really discover where I stand as an individual. I have come to realize that my view on things is not going to agree with everyone else's and in some cases I will look to defy the views of others in order to see out what I believe in. I have only begun to scratch the surface on finding my true self. There is still a lot more learning that I have to do. I am still incredibly uncertain as to what I want to do with my life. I have to tell myself that just because one person doesn't see your potential, you may be exactly what someone else was looking for. I have to believe in myself that i have power over my life. In the end I am the only one that can make things happen. I am the ultimate controller of the outcome. And it all comes down to what I put into it and my ability to do what I love and what I believe is right despite what others may think. I have to learn that my actions will never please everyone, and along the way I may loose the respect of some people, but in the end all that means is they were not worth my time. The ones who are still there in the end are the ones that truly matter.  It all boils down to how I overcome all these obstacles and create my own sense of bliss.